Today we discuss the topic of expectations. Expectations in relationships. Expectations are good to a degree. I expect my husband to be kind to me. I expect my friends to tell me the truth. I expect my family to want to celebrate my accomplishments.
These are all normal expectations. Healthy expectations.
What I am talking about today are unspoken expectations. Those things we expect people to read our minds to know. I can not be the only one who has a full list of tasks/responsibilities for my partner or someone else that I just simply EXPECT them to know.
Have you ever done this? You wake up to a messy house and undone laundry. Your first thoughts are anger, rage even. You start thinking about how unappreciated you are and how you are the one who always has to do everything. Then your partner/roommate casually says "Good morning!" and you lose it. How could they not know I wanted the house clean and the laundry done? How could they not have done these things?
Pause a moment and ask yourself. Did I tell them I needed this? Did I ask for them to do these tasks for me? Here's the thing: we can not ever expect someone else to read our minds! Sometimes we have to ask for our needs to be met or for help.
These are the expectations that we have to be wary of. Unspoken expectations. The things we expect from people that they are not aware of.
I have learned through much trial and error in my marriage and other relationships that I am much happier if I simply tell the other person what my expectations or needs are.
So there's a challenge for you...speak up and let your loved ones know what you need. You might just find that they are willing and want to meet your expectations.